Death..

Do you ever just think about death? I do. How often do you imagine dying? An image a day is about average for me. 

I usually picture how it would feel dying, almost like floating backwards through air into a different world. I then note people's reactions to my death, I may be interpreting them oddly but that's how they come across in my mind.

Of course there's nothing to worry about, I would never purposefully injure myself! No matter how bad things are, I may as well live as long as I'm expected. There could be something great around the corner. 

However, life stinks. Occasionally I tell myself to "just screw it" though that's highly impossible as life isn't an object..

I'm quite certain I have some sort of issue, my mum and I believe it to be a form of dyslexia. I'm not sure why I'm sharing it on the web I just feel it safe, though I'm sure it's the opposite. When I told dad about my worry he cut me off midway to tell me I was being silly. The problem is I'm far from "being silly" because this isn't the first, third or fifth time I've told him about things I've noticed. Quite honestly I just wanted to break down in tears while he comforted me - hence why I like hugging people, because they're wariness gives me a sense of security.

Ah well, I'll just go back to imagining death, for the third time today.

Adios,

Beth x